Doing better, emotionally. Between encouragement from unexpected sources to a neurosurgeon appointment this week, I no longer feel like I'm drowning. I've got a direction now and things to do to prepare. It feels good to know someone will finally talk to me.
That said... God, this pain is miserable. I made it through my sister's wedding ceremony but ended up leaving fairly quickly afterward. I was her maid of honor. I was so embarrassed about my limitations (wearing different shoes because my feet are so swollen, having to cling to the best man as we descended the stairs, and sitting during the ceremony instead of standing by her side) I tried to push myself harder than I should have. Luckily, Phil has been quite the mother-hen, keeping a pretty constant eye on me. He knows when I've had enough but lets me make the final decision about when to leave/what to do. He's usually right but I'm too stubborn to give up control of my life to this disease. The past two days I've been sleeping pretty constantly to recover from the wedding. That's not like me...
Tomorrow is an appointment with my PCP and the day after is the appointment with the neurosurgeon. Nervous does not even come close to how I feel. What if the NS doesn't believe me? Or dismisses my symptoms as something else? Or doesn't have any experience with Chiari? Or shifts me back to another doctor for whatever reason?
I would appreciate prayers, good thoughts, whatever you please, especially the morning of the 8th. Patience is not my strong suit and I don't know how much longer I can hold out.
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