Guh.

First week of school. Excuse me, but you may have to communicate in a series of grunts and hand gestures as my mind seems to have liquefied.

I honestly meant to write after my first day but, wow. School, work, home to do my online class and homework and then it was bedtime already! Barely any time for dinner!

So much information... So many new experiences... So many new people and ideas and places... So much crammed into five little days. All I can say is TGIF!

This first week has been exhausting but deeply satisfying. My professors are clever, witty people who obviously love what they do. The homework hasn't been overwhelming at all - I've completed every assignment so far either on time or before. Things I didn't even know I knew - like how to multiply decimals - have been slowly surfacing. Oh dear, my clever seems to be showing!

The exhaustion stems mostly from my change in schedules. Instead of a leisurely nine a.m. clock-in time, I'm in my first class at 7:30. I go straight from school to work, and leave there at 7:30 p.m. That's right people - twelve hour days.

Also, I'm a Virgo. My routine is everything, and my routine has been severely disturbed. This has made me ever-so-slightly cranky. That, and the fact that I haven't had one second to keep up with housework and things are starting to pile up... Guh.

But I'm learning and adapting and I'll make it through. I have no doubts.

Orientation, novels, and bouts of doubts.

I had orientation for school this week. It was really, really great. They said people who take the FYI "class" (yes, we get a credit for attending) are more likely to succeed at school. I can see why! They gave us test taking tips and note taking tips. We attended mock classes and workshops on different topics. It really was incredibly helpful and a good way to introduce new students to what they're getting themselves into.

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Speaking of "getting myself into", I've been getting the jitters. Over the last week I've had so many moments of, "My god, what have I done?!" The doubt, people. It is tough to combat. I've wanted this for so long, yet now that it's here, I'm getting a little scared.

I haven't lost my resolve. I'm just as determined as ever to do this. But my fierce, total blind optimism has been tarnished, a bit. The practical things are weighing on me: being in school full-time, working full-time, homework, sleep... not to mention, how will I ever keep up with the housework?! And I'm going to be doing this for at least six or seven years! I know I've got a great support system, and Phil will jump in and help when asked, but still... Wow. What a lot I've got on my plate. Self-inflicted, admittedly.

It helps to hear that people believe in me. I've been hearing it quite a bit, and it's definitely a boost. People have loaned me books about how to get through nursing school. I've gotten encouraging emails. Phil tells me at least once a day, in his calm, matter-of-fact way, that he knows I won't have any problems. That man is, and has always been, my rock.

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I have gotten two of my school books in the mail already. One of my required English 101 books is a novel written by a Pacific Northwest author. It's called The Art of Racing in the Rain, by Garth Stein. By the cover and what I'd heard about the book, I was a little blah about reading it. I picked it up reluctantly yesterday with the intent of reading a couple pages to see if it would be an easy read.

I DID NOT PUT THE BOOK DOWN.

Do you hear that, people? I honestly, seriously, read the entire book last night. The whole thing, start to finish. I couldn't stop reading. The voice of the book is beautiful, the ideas and images are captivating, haunting and lovely. It didn't hurt that a few chapters in the mentioned midwives and home birth in an extremely positive light! There were points when I yelled with frustration at the situation the characters found themselves in, and points where I cried because it was just too beautiful. This book sang to me in a way no book has in a very, very long time.

I suggest reading it. Please do, if you can. I promise it will not disappoint.

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A week from Monday. September 21st. My birthday, and my first day of school.

I'm ready. Let's do this!

So grateful...

I haven't even started my journey yet, and already I feel like Someone Out There is watching out for me.

Because of the whole 30 day wait for my financial aid check, I needed a little help with books and school supplies. I got the brilliant idea to hold a Garage Desk Sale at work. I brought in a bunch of books I don't read anymore, and some odds 'n' ends to "sell." I wrote in the classifieds at work that it was for donations to help me get my school books and such. Phil, my boyfriend, thought it was a cheesy idea and didn't think much would come out of it.

HAH! I have never been more happy to prove him wrong!

By the end of this week, I will have made almost $100! All the books have sold, and most of the toys. In addition to the great outpouring of love and support from my friends at work, I got a donation from a complete stranger in the form of...

SCHOOL BOOKS!

That's right - someone donated her old school books to me! I have a huge box full of biology, chemistry, A&P, and medical texts! Even some medical terminology flash cards!

Wow. Just... Wow! I couldn't believe how much people are rooting for me!

Another good bit of news... Our room mates are moving out (that's not the good news!) and we have decided to look for a new room mate instead of trying to shoulder the rent payment on our own. I put another ad in the classifieds about it and within two hours someone had come to me with the PERFECT solution.

Her husband is working on his PhD. He needs office space outside their home, away from their five-year-old daughter. She has a penchant for coloring all over his books and papers. She said he might be interested in renting out our upstairs as his study/workspace! Do you know how great that would be for us? Someone who would allow us our private time, but would be paying rent. Someone who knows the value of quiet study time. Someone who would, at the end of the day, be almost a ghost!

This isn't a done deal but if you could keep your fingers and toes and etc crossed, I'd appreciate it very much!

Things are just falling into place. I was giddy today, telling Phil what happened. "Why are you surprised? This is what you asked for," he said. It's true. It feels like that mysterious Someone Out There is paving the way for my dream to come true, in ways I never even imagined were possible!

I'm so grateful and so happy. And ready to go! Twenty more days...