It has been almost a month since I got sick. Well, sicker.
Try again.
It's been almost a month since I got so sick the urgent care doctor made me sign a promise not to drive or work until I got cleared by the neurosurgeon.
A month of waiting. A month of laying in bed, staring at the phone. A month of learning I have truly amazing, kindhearted, patient and loving friends and family. A month of frustration, not-so-surprising lows, self-discovery, arguments, irritation, gratitude, tears, attempts at patience, failure at being patient, love and grief.
A month of being sick. Doubled vision, fatigue, daily headaches, nausea, insomnia, mood swings, and swollen feet, hands, joints. Oh, and pain. Can't forget pain.
A month of wondering what I'm supposed to be learning from this. A month of wondering why me? A month of being bounced from doctor to doctor and a month of no doctor helping fix my poor, broken body. A month of being afraid that our money is going to run out before my short term disability kicks in. A month of wondering if it was a mistake to buy our house since I don't know when/if I will be able to work again.
A month of the Binding of Isaac, VideoGameCarnage, TheHeartless, MangaMinx, NorthernLion.
A month of painting, stripping, and repainting my nails.
What comes next? More waiting. More Isaac. More nail polish.
More waiting.
I'm so very tired of waiting.
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